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Person with a weird mental illness needs your advice.?

I underwent a VERY traumatic expereince about 12 years ago,and since then have been very messsed up mentally. Suffering severe depression, and other symptoms.
Now, I know Yahoo Questions is not the place to seek medical help, so my question is not directly about my illness. But,one of the symptoms of my illness is an almost complete absence to experience any kind of pleasure,from stuff like,food,sex,work,exercise etc etc.
So, what I’d like to know is, if someone might recommend an easily available (i.e over the internet,on Ebay or in a shop) food/drug/legal high etc etc, that might allow even a ‘freak’ like me to feel some pleasure.
An example of the kind of stuff I had in mind was something like buying poppy seeds from a shop,and then trying to extract the opium from them. Although due to my illness I can’t even manage that!
To be 100% frank, I’m not really expecting any answers to my question,but I had a few spare moments and thought that I might as well ask my friends on Yahoo.

My heart goes out to you because I have felt just like you say you do before in my life. No joy in anything.
First of all you are not a “freak”
Your brief description of your symptoms sounds like you may be suffering from Clinical Depression resulting from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder following your traumatic experience.
This is a very common problem for people who have had a traumatic experience.
One of the primary symptoms of Clinical Depression
(which just means a very serious depression with measurable mental and physical elements)is the inability to enjoy those things that would ordinarily be pleasurable for an individual.
Have you had any kind of counseling following your traumatic experience?
One of the worst things about traumatic experiences is that they don’t just “go away” even when the actual experience ends. They can seem to follow us, in the form of depression, anxiety, new and sometimes overwhelming fears and doubts, and powerful physical symptoms of enormous variety and intensity.
A human being is an organic life form of extraordinary complexity. The way that traumatic experiences are processed through the varied intertwined systems of the mind and body is a complex and sometimes confusing process that can interfere with the “ordinary” processes of everyday life, sometimes to the point of stopping them altogether.
Find yourself an ally in facing and dealing with this experience in the form of a trained counselor or physician. Your courage in taking this step will likely pay off in the dramatic reduction, if not complete resolution of your symptoms.
I promise you, you can still have a beautiful life full of many precious moments of happiness, pleasure and joy no matter what has been your past experience.
But like most people you will probably need the help of other people along the way.
You may also need support in the form of some type of anti- depressant as you go through your therapy to help you normalize your brain chemistry to allow a respite or rest from the pain of depression while you learn to manage your thoughts and feelings with new cognitive(mental) and behavioral skills.
The poppy seed extract theory shows that you are a creative thinker but you may get a better benefit from the knowledge and experience gained in the last hundred years of research in this field by other creative thinkers. Why reinvent the wheel if you don’t have to?
The most widely recognized herbal treatment for depression is St. John’s Wort, which has been widely studied and is now available at any drugstore without prescription.
But I can say this, if the problem has persisted for 12 years it is unlikely that you will be able to resolve it alone even with support from an herbal antidepressant regardless of how effective the herb or drug you choose is.
This is obviously a deeper issue.
Find a counselor you can trust.
It may take a few trys to find the right person.
But it will be worth it.
Though it may not seem so now, there is still much joy ahead of you if you take up the real journey of recovery.
I wish you all the best in finding your way back to the fullness of life.

How to Make Home Made Lemon Poppy Seed Muffins Recipe with MagiesPlace